Both life & perspective are changing.
Yesterday I had one of those moments where you can’t help but say to yourself, “Well shoot, if overblessed is a possible state of being, then that is surely the most accurate adjective I can contrive to describe myself right now.” You see, I leave for college in a little over a week, and I’ve been forced to face the fact that regrettably, despite the goodness of such moments, I still have to be on my way in a short while. And at first, I was afraid that this was going to be some awful ordeal, and I’m not going to deny the fact that certain aspects of leaving will be extremely difficult – namely, the goodbyes. I feel as though if one is able to leave a place without any feelings of sadness or emptiness, then he or she simply did not ever truly & fully live in that place to begin with. So yes; don’t think that I am taking the thought of leaving lightly. Because I’m not. But I suppose I’ve never been a strong proponent of visibly expressing my emotions, especially negative or vulnerable ones. Because frankly, I am incapable of doing so. So why not focus on the positives? If you sort of rearrange your perspective, I am convinced that there are very few things that can’t be viewed in a positive light.
I could be sad about the fact that this summer is coming to a close. Or I could revel in the fact that this summer has been a treasure trove of goodness. Gosh, this summer has been grand. Did I see certain friends as much as I had originally envisioned? No; definitely not. I think summer has a way of being a bit ruthless in that sense, and it’s not a happy thing. Nevertheless, this summer has been doused with bike rides and sunshine and travel and road trips and picnics and flowers and family and friends and beautiful madness. And there is absolutely no way to look at these blessings and not be thankful and utterly enraptured by the sweetness of it all.
But I fear that too often, we treat a move to college as though it’s a death to all life as we know it, and while I get where this perception comes from and I get that life really will never be the same again, that doesn’t mean that it’s 100% accurate, some sort of infallible theory. Actually, it’s not. Sure, new friends will be met, and new living arrangements will be enjoyed, or perhaps, dealt with. We’ll be forced to be “responsible adults,” and that kind of grosses me out, but it’s still a reality I guess. Things will change; things will change a lot. But not everything has to change. If this was the case, I would probably spend my last week at home freaking out, as opposed to savoring the time I have left here, and I think we can all agree that approach would be no good. You can stay connected with people. It’s one of the few modern extravagances that I am beyond grateful for. You have the ability to call up old friends; call your mom; call your dad; call your cousin; call your great grandpa. Keep the connections alive. You’re leaving; you’re not dying.
However, it’s still sad. Leaving tends to be that way. But if we spent all our lives avoiding the act of moving on for fear that tears may be shed in the process, then we would never get anywhere. Recognize that amidst the leaving lies the going. And the going holds a heck of a lot of promise and excitement. And just remember, if you’re sad about leaving, that probably means you’ve been blessed where you are. And you should be happy about that.
This will most likely be my last blog post before I leave because I don’t want to be spending a great deal of time near my computer when I could be with friends or family or even doing some packing here & there. I’ll be sure to share how my first college endeavors unfold. And then continue from there.
But life is good. Such extraordinary people I have the privilege of calling my friends and family. Here’s to new chapters, and a life that’s so beautiful that portions of the previous chapters will spill over into the new.
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